I have a name for my problem so I now completely identify with The Joker in the first Batman film with Jack Nicholson:
I have a name for my pain…
So what is it for me?
I’ve been wondering what it is that I don’t seem to have worked out quite right. I understand and believe that God is there. I’ve said it before, I found him in a room with people who were prepared to be vulnerable in order that they may recover from Sex addiction. Who would have thought that God would seem most present in that place?
On the face of it, you really wouldn’t think of God wishing to commune with transvestites, exhibitionists,the porn addicted and the sex obsessed. However it makes sense through the lens of Jesus’ life.
So God found me and made me confront all my years of church attendance where I couldn’t be a part because Sex addiction was holding me back. Church had to change and I left the cosy baptists and joined the Pentecostals. I could be a part! I’ve thrown myself in for 16months and there are lots of good points. But
There are things that are niggling me and I need to address them. After much google mining I think I know what they are and I can name them:
1. The teaching is lightweight. Like, really lightweight. I’ve never met weaker. It has some good application points but, to be fair, I’ve a better grounding in theology. And I’m a Sex Addict who has not been in any position to comment.
2. There’s a pretty strong leaning towards Bethel/Hillsong in the worship. This is limiting and I’ve been looking into Bethel, who are heavily linked to Hillsong and I don’t like what I read so…
3. New Apostolic Reformation – I think our church may be heading towards joining this movement- slowly and steadily, but moving that way. There’s quite a lot of points that would back this up.
4. A visiting ‘prophet’ from Australia- I wasn’t there but I’ve heard the podcast. It was pretty much anything that could have come from a ‘cold-reading’.
5. ‘Giftings’ eg tongues – lotsa babbling going on but no interpretation. Am I wrong in thinking that they should be interpreted?
6. Emotional manipulation- lighting, keyboards etc, no-one rolling on the floor yet noted but hey! There’s time.
However I must be careful. I know that I’m way too prone to the casual whims of my thinking. Funnily enough I’m writing this whilst listening to a sermon on ‘spiritual posture’ which on the surface seems perfectly fine and it’s partly illustrated by this from Ephesians 4
Ephesians 4:14-15 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
I also know that by the time I’m raising these issues, I’m already too far from the vision of this church and need to be completely honest.
I’m also slightly concerned that the type of church with which I am currently aligned is designed to manipulate emotion and therefore alow the release of dopamine. In this way it is one more obsessive ‘process’ which is only slightly healthier than the process of sex addiction. It’s only achieving the same result.