Intimacy

Intimacy is a tricky word. Have we been truly intimate as a couple? I think this might be a “no”. We’ve had a lot of sex, but I’m not sure that it has always been intimate. A lot of it could be considered as “advanced masturbation”, much like a lot of the activity surrounding my acting out. We avoid being intimate with one another as we are scared of how the other will react. I’m needing to take the lead here. I will have to generate the trust and openness. Maybe the door can open… How would it feel to have truly intimate intercourse? Could we cope with the emotions we have for so long kept under control? Would it be as ritualistic as it is currently? For once I’m thinking about her and not acting out. I’ve allowed myself this privilege despite my need to avoid being too sexual. I’m also scared of wanting to act out.

Advertisements

One thought on “Intimacy

  1. Pingback: Honesty and Intimacy | Love Letters to My Black Son's

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s